{"id":16628,"date":"2025-09-08T16:00:42","date_gmt":"2025-09-08T22:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/principled-negotiation\/"},"modified":"2026-03-30T21:59:59","modified_gmt":"2026-03-31T03:59:59","slug":"principled-negotiation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/principled-negotiation\/","title":{"rendered":"Principled negotiation"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Ron
Ron Price<\/span>cca<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/p>\n

In the early 1980s a group of scholars formed the Harvard Negotiation Project. Their guiding question was simple yet profound: What is the best way for people to deal with their differences?<\/p>\n

From that collaboration came several influential books: Getting to Yes, Getting Past No, <\/em>and Getting Together.<\/em> They may not win awards for clever titles, but each contains practical wisdom for how we can get along better \u2013 or, as I like to say, how we can \u201cplay nice in the sandbox.\u201d<\/p>\n

The subtitle of Getting to Yes <\/em>is Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In.<\/em> In their research for the book, authors Roger Fisher and William Ury studied conflicts at every level, from individuals to nations. They found most people default to one of two styles when disputes arise.<\/p>\n

The first is \u201chard negotiation.\u201d Hard negotiators see negotiation as a contest to win. Their approach is: I won\u2019t leave until I get what I came for. This may bring results but often at a steep relational cost. A co-worker who strong-arms everyone may get compliance today, but over time colleagues begin avoiding them or withholding connection.<\/p>\n

On the other end are \u201csoft negotiators.\u201d Conflict makes them so uncomfortable they yield almost anything to reach agreement. Their thought is: I\u2019ll give in if this can just be over. This may ease tension for the moment, but later resentment creeps in when they realize how much they surrendered.<\/p>\n

Both approaches usually achieve resolution, but not necessarily a wise one. A hard negotiator might win short-term, but memories of being bullied could linger with the other party for a long time. That is why auto industry legend Lee Iacocca often said he would never enter an agreement unless he also believed it was good for the other side. Iacocca was no pushover, he just knew the value of protecting relationships.<\/p>\n

Soft negotiators, meanwhile, often regret how much they gave up for the sake of supposed peace. The \u201cthrill of victory\u201d in settling quickly gives way to the \u201cagony of defeat\u201d when the true cost sinks in.<\/p>\n

If being too hard harms others and being too soft harms yourself, what\u2019s left? The Harvard Negotiation Project offered a third way: \u201cprincipled negotiation.:<\/p>\n

Principled negotiation avoids extremes. It is neither combative nor passive but grounded in fairness and respect. Fisher and Ury outlined four elements:<\/p>\n

1. Separate the people from the problem.<\/p>\n

2. Focus on interests, not positions.<\/p>\n

3. Invent options for mutual gain.<\/p>\n

4. Base decisions on objective criteria.<\/p>\n

Over the next several weeks, I\u2019ll unpack each principle. For now, please note that while Principled negotiation is not foolproof, it usually produces better outcomes than the hard or soft styles. Not everyone you meet will want to negotiate this way, but you can still choose to model it.<\/p>\n

Does that mean you risk being taken advantage of? Not if you hold to the process. A principled negotiation seeks outcomes fair to all. If either side feels cheated, the process has strayed from its foundation.<\/p>\n

The authors of Getting to Yes <\/em>suggested that any good method of negotiation should meet three tests:<\/p>\n

1. It should produce a wise agreement whenever possible.<\/p>\n

2. It should be efficient.<\/p>\n

3. It should strengthen, or at least not damage, the relationship between the parties.<\/p>\n

Principled negotiation meets all three. And perhaps most importantly, it shows us how to resolve conflict in ways that protect dignity and preserve relationships. I sure think that is something worth striving for, what say you?<\/p>\n

I look forward to exploring these principles with you in the weeks ahead.<\/p>\n

Ron Price, who has a master\u2019s degree in counseling from the University of New Mexico, is author of the \u201cPlay Nice in Your Sandbox\u201d book series and creator of the CPR Mastery video course. He is available for workshops and staff training. Contact Ron at ron@ronprice.com<\/a> and (505) 324-6328. Learn more at ronprice.com.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

reach agreements that last without damaging relationships<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13307,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[1091,29],"naviga_topic":[],"class_list":["post-16628","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-columns","tag-newsletter"],"acf":[],"author_name":"dh_admin","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16628","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16628"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16628\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20305,"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16628\/revisions\/20305"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13307"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16628"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16628"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16628"},{"taxonomy":"naviga_topic","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/naviga_topic?post=16628"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}