{"id":13306,"date":"2026-02-24T16:50:54","date_gmt":"2026-02-24T23:50:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/poison-in-the-well\/"},"modified":"2026-03-31T03:36:23","modified_gmt":"2026-03-31T03:36:23","slug":"poison-in-the-well","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/poison-in-the-well\/","title":{"rendered":"Poison in the well"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Ron
Ron Price<\/span>cca<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/p>\n

Do you know the difference between gossip and flattery? Gossip is what you say behind someone\u2019s back that you would never say to their face. Flattery is what you say to someone\u2019s face that you would never say behind their back. While neither one contributes to healthy relationships, gossip is especially damaging. It often travels alongside two equally destructive companions: rumor and innuendo.<\/p>\n

My hunch is that many of you have been on the receiving end of this trio, and you know firsthand the pain, confusion and disappointment they can cause.<\/p>\n

To be sure we\u2019re on the same page, let\u2019s look at some simple definitions. Gossip is the spreading of rumors or sharing personal details about others, often with malicious intent. A rumor is a story or report passed along without facts to confirm its truth. Innuendo is an indirect remark that carries a suggestion of wrongdoing. None of these requires evidence. All of them can leave real damage behind.<\/p>\n

I would love to tell you that I have never engaged in any of these behaviors, but I have not lied to you in previous columns, and I do not plan to start now. Those who are convinced they have never gossiped, spread a rumor or hinted through innuendo may need a referral to a good therapist or perhaps to Liars Anonymous.<\/p>\n

So why do people do it? Why do otherwise decent people slip so easily into these patterns? I do not have all the answers, but I will offer a few observations.<\/p>\n

One reason may be similar to why people laugh when someone falls or does something embarrassing. Years ago, I saw a news clip of a woman walking through a mall while texting, completely unaware of her surroundings. Seconds later, she stepped straight into a fountain. Many people laughed. Psychologists suggest that part of the reason is relief that it happened to someone else, not to us.<\/p>\n

At some level, gossip can work the same way. Most of us struggle at times with self-acceptance and self-worth. When we compare ourselves to others and come out feeling superior, even briefly, it can feel reassuring. \u201cI may not be perfect, but at least I\u2019m not as bad as them.\u201d Sharing gossip or rumors can tilt that comparison in our favor, at least temporarily.<\/p>\n

Others spread gossip to be noticed. Being the first to share \u201cinside information\u201d can place someone at the center of attention. Being in the know can feel important, even if the importance is fleeting.<\/p>\n

Some use gossip as a way to feel powerful. Information can be a form of control, and when that information can harm someone else, it may intensify that feeling. For certain people, having dirt on someone produces a rush, a sense of influence that feels almost intoxicating.<\/p>\n

Whatever the motivation, gossip, rumors and innuendo are simply wrong. As children, many of us repeated the phrase, \u201cSticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.\u201d We did not believe it then, and we certainly know better now. Words wound deeply.<\/p>\n

To those of you who have been the targets of gossip, you have my sincere sympathy. But it is those who regularly engage in this behavior whom I truly pity.<\/p>\n

Gary Ryan Blair once observed that extraordinary people talk about ideas, average people talk about events and small people talk about other people.<\/p>\n

Next week, we will return to this topic and look at practical steps you can take to confront this cancer before it spreads. Left untreated, it has the power to destroy families, workplaces and teams that might otherwise thrive.<\/p>\n

Ron Price, who has a master\u2019s degree in counseling from the University of New Mexico, is author of the \u201cPlay Nice in Your Sandbox\u201d book series and creator of the CPR Mastery video course. He is available for workshops and staff training. Contact Ron at ron@ronprice.com<\/a> and (505) 324-6328. Learn more at ronprice.com.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

gossip, rumor, and innuendo quietly damage relationships<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13307,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[1091,29],"naviga_topic":[],"class_list":["post-13306","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-columns","tag-newsletter"],"acf":[],"author_name":"dh_admin","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13306","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13306"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13306\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18911,"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13306\/revisions\/18911"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13307"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13306"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13306"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13306"},{"taxonomy":"naviga_topic","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dh.durangoherald.com\/tj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/naviga_topic?post=13306"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}